Do you just absolutely dread social situations? Does the thought of having to look someone in the eye and actually make a contribution to the conversation, make you shiver? If so, you could be what they call, an introvert; However, you needn’t fear, there is nothing wrong with being shy or feeling slightly awkward in social situations, if the world was full of people screaming at each other, how would it work? (we need the listeners!) However, to have zero confidence does feel pretty shitty; I remember spending the evening before my first day starting secondary school, writing out potential conversations starters, just so I had something ‘worthy’ to say to the other pupils (it seems pretty laughable now, but it just didn’t come as natural to me back then). Anyway, here are a few pointers on how you can help yourself gradually overcome the dread.
1) Taking up any exercise class on your lonesome, is definitely a great way to get you out of your comfort zone. You’re surrounded by people you’ve never met and because you’re alone, you have no other choice but to talk to someone new. This may seem pretty daunting at first, but the instructor will fill any awkward silence, so there is no need to fear! You will only have time to make ‘small talk’ with the other participants; so it’s not a massive leap, but it’s a start.
2) Acknowledge, then eliminate any negative thoughts you have about yourself, these will only lower your confidence. You are your biggest critic, people probably don’t even notice the tiny flaws you pick up on yourself. Remember you’re alive, and that’s more than enough to be happy about. So as they say ‘Don’t sweat the small stuff’ and get out there and show them that it’s what’s on the inside that counts, let you personality shine through. Of course, there are always going to be ‘haters’, but that’s an inevitable human con. Even Beyonce receives criticism.
3) Following on from point no.2, you have to be totally OK with the person you are. Once you identify what you consider ‘flaws’, use that to your advantage. Show people even though you know your ears might stick out a bit, or you’re teeth aren’t snow white, you still have so much more to offer, way beyond appearance. If you’ve seen Eminem’s film, 8 Mile, you’ll know of that glorious part where he completely demolishes himself, as part of a rap battle, then smugly hands back the mic to a speechless opponent, who can no longer ‘diss’ him, because he already put his flaws out on the table, for all to see. When people know you’re OK with your flaws, they don’t bother you as much… confidence scares people.
4) You have to embrace your talents. Sounds like an obvious thing to do, I know, but you’d be surprised how many people focus on the negatives as oppose to how great they actually are. Make a list of what you love, what you’re good at, what people love about you, compliments you’ve received in your lifetime, things you like about yourself etc; this will work as a great confidence booster and it’s a brilliant way to realise how fab you are; why people should love you and why you should never go unnoticed. People always forget to love themselves, you have to love you, you’re with yourself 24/7 until the day you die (Assuming the soul leaves the body), happiness with-in is essential.
‘Go Think Big’ also have lots to offer, when it comes to building an individual’s confidence; So I would definitely advise keeping tabs on their website. They usually hold skill days, for people who want to work on something that is holding them back.https://gothinkbig.co.uk/opportunities/search?keyword&category&type=Skill+days&location&partner&submit2=Search¤tPage=1
Just remember, don’t be afraid to take a step outside your comfort zone. It could be the best thing you do. (If it ends up being the worst, look at it as a learning curve)